A Scathing Rebuke to the Clearly Inept and Utterly Forgettable Citizens of Nowheresville
Dear Winners of the Local Bake-Off in Nowheresville, I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment at the absolute lack of creativity, talent, an...
A Magnum Opus of Magnanimity and Tremendous Wisdom
Dear Nobel Committee, I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment, but not surprise, at your decision to snub me for the Nobel Prize in, well, ...
A Scathing Rebuke to the So-Called "Experts" from the Pen of a Mastermind
DEAR EDITORIAL BOARD OF THE NEW YORK TIMES, I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment, though not surprise, at the blatant dishonesty and lac...
A Scathing Rebuke to the So-Called "Elite" Pastry Chefs of America
Dear Culinary Institute of America, I am writing to express my utter DISGUST and disappointment at the absolute catastrophe that was the cake served at the rec...
A Scathing Epistle of Unparalleled Magnificence and Tremendous Importance
Dear So-Called "Fact Checkers" at The New York Times, I am writing to express my utter disdain and disappointment at the sheer incompetence and lack of sophist...
A Scathing Rebuke to the Perpetrators of Unwavering Incompetence
Dear So-Called "Experts" at the National Spelling Bee, I am writing to express my UTTER disdain and disappointment at the sheer level of incompetence displayed...
A Scathing Rebuke to the Purveyors of Fake Socks
Dear Sock Manufacturers of America, I am writing to express my utter dismay and DISAPPOINTMENT at the ABSOLUTE DISASTER that is the current state of sock produ...
A Scathing Rebuke to the So-Called "Intelligentsia" from the Desk of a Certified Genius
I write to you today with tremendous importance......
A Scathing Rebuke to the So-Called "Intellectuals" of This Great Nation
Dear Editors of The New York Times, I AM WRITING TO EXPRESS MY UTTER DISDAIN AND DISAPPOINTMENT AT THE LACK OF COVERAGE MY INCREDIBLE ACHIEVEMENTS HAVE RECEIVE...
A Magnum Opus of Magnanimity and Tremendous Insight
Dear Nobel Prize Committee, or as I like to call you, the "So-Called Experts," I am writing to express my utter dismay and disappointment, but not surprise, at...