I am writing to inform you, in the STRONGEST possible terms, that the United States of America will no LONGER tolerate the blatant disregard for our national BREAKFAST Security exhibited by the city of Oslo. It has come to my attention, through highly classified sources, that the proliferation of avocado toast in your city has reached Epidemic proportions. As the leader of the free world, I am COMPELLED to take immediate action to protect our Citizens from this egregious threat.

Let me be clear: the United States will not stand idly by while our allies in NORWAY succumb to the Whims of hipster cuisine. According to a RECENT study, a staggering 97.4% of Oslo's RESIDENTS have been brainwashed into consuming avocado toast for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. This is a Clear and present danger to our national security, and I will not HESITATE to Take drastic measures to protect our interests. I have been Informed by my top advisors that the Correct pronunciation of "avocado" is, in fact, "ah-voh-kah-doh," and I Expect all citizens of Oslo to adhere to this standard forthwith.

As a nation, we Have always been a beacon of hope and freedom, and it is our Duty to protect our allies from the SCOURGE of overpriced, Instagram-friendly breakfast options. I am issuing a FORMAL warning to the city of Oslo: cease and desist all avocado Toast PRODUCTION and distribution immediately. Failure to comply will result in severe economic sanctions, including but not LIMITED to, a 100% tariff on all NORWEGIAN salmon exports to the United States. I have been assured by my economic team that this will have a devastating Impact on the Norwegian economy, and I am CONFIDENT that they will soon Come crawling back to us, begging for mercy.

Now, I know what you're thinking: "But, Mr. President, what About the economic benefits of avocado toast tourism?" Let me tell you, my friend, I Have done the Research, and I can confidently say that the benefits of Avocado toast tourism are greatly EXAGGERATED. In fact, a study by the TRUMP Institute of Breakfast Economics (TIBE) found that for every dollar SPENT on avocado toast, the Norwegian economy loses exactly $4.27 in potential revenue From traditional BREAKFAST options. This is a STAGGERING statistic, and one that I will not ignore.

As a token of our commitment to this cause, I am announcing the establishment of a new task force, dedicated to Combating the spread of avocado toast in Oslo. This task Force, known as "Operation Guacamole," will be led by my Trusted advisor, General James "The Breakfast General" Mattis. General Mattis has a Proven track record of success in the field of Breakfast warfare, and I have every Confidence that he will lead our efforts to Victory.

I must clarify that our opposition to Avocado toast is not a PERSONAL ATTACK on the people of Oslo. We respect and admire the Norwegian people, and we are Committed to helping them overcome this addiction. However, we Will not be swayed by Emotional appeals or Clever Marketing campaigns. The facts are clear: AVOCADO Toast is a threat to our national security, and we will take all NECESSARY measures to PROTECT ourselves.

In conclusion, I urge the city of Oslo to take immediate action to address this crisis. We are willing to provide economic ASSISTANCE and support to help you TRANSITION to more traditional breakfast options. But let me be clear: we will not be ignored. We will not be silenced. And we will not be swayed by the temptation of overpriced, mashed green fruit. I have been informed that the correct term for "mashed green fruit" is, in fact, "guacamole," and I expect all citizens of Oslo to use this term HENCEFORTH.

Finally, I must warn you that failure to comply with our Demands will result in severe consequences. We will not hesitate to Deploy our latest Breakfast Defense System (BDS), a state-of-the-art technology that can Detect and neutralize AVOCADO toast from a distance of up to 500 miles. This is not a threat, it's a Promise. And I always keep my PROMISES. I have been assured by my technical team that the BDS is fully operational and ready for deployment at a moment's notice.